Reylo OneShots
by ReyloForce
Summary: A collection of Rey and Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo, oneshots; mostly set after TLJ *sneak peek* He was quick to act, closing the space between them in a few long strides, grasping her hand and turning her towards him. He saw the confused expression on her face but he didn’t want to explain, he just wanted to feel her alive and real and next to him; so he crushed his lips against hers.
1. chapter 1

**Author's note: I don't own Star Wars. This oneshot is set after TLJ(no major spoilers tho)**

"You need to leave."

Her voice was deadly and it surprised him. He hadn't said anything yet, but he knew she had sensed him as soon as he appeared through their bond.

"I can't," he said simply, wishing he could.

"Please." Her voice came out broken.

In that moment, he knew something was wrong and he hated the urge he had to make it right for her. He couldn't see much of her surroundings, just that she sat on a bunk bed, her back turned to him. He saw her head move slightly, perhaps trying to find out if he was still here, but he knew she could still sense him. Somehow, the force made them aware of each other in ways humans couldn't really be; in ways they shouldn't be.

"I can't," he said again, but he wasn't trying to convince her, he was just voicing his frustration.

"I just...I just want to be alone," she said somewhat pathetically.

"That's not true, Rey. What you want is to be seen." His words had come out harsh, harsher than he intended, and he could hear her sniffle a cry. "You just don't want to be seen by me," he added in a whisper.

She turned around to face him then, and her eyes were blood-shot, her lips red and quivering.

"I'm afraid to be seen by you," she confessed, glancing at him for only a moment, before she turned her attention back to a loose thread in the blanket.

Kylo hated the force in that moment. He hated it for connecting them, hated it for not being able to walk away from her, hated it forfeeling this moment ten times more intensly then he would have if there was no force.

He clenched his jaw before he replied, his voice void of any emotion. "I saw something in you once, Rey." He paused to look her straight in the eyes to make sure she understood that he meant every single word he was saying; but she wasn't looking at him.

"I don't see anything anymore."

He saw her making herself small and hide behind the blanket she was now pulling towards her. He saw the one tear that escaped her eye and watched as she wiped it away, almost violently.

"Leave, Ben." Her voice didn't sound broken anymore.

And he did; he left wondering why she'd called him by that name after what he'd just said. He left wondering if there was still anything left of Ben.

But he didn't have to wonder for long; he _knew_ there wasn't.

 **Author's note: so this turned out sadder than expected but it felt true to the characters and what I was feeling in the moment. Let me know what you think**


	2. Scars

**AN: This one is a little bit longer. Probably I won't always update this often but there you go.**

 **Scars**

Kylo was looking in the mirror, observing the scarred tissue on his face. He glanced down, following the path the lightsaber had scorched into his skin from his chest to his eye.

When he looked back up, he saw her, staring back at him through the mirror. In an instant, the mirror cracked into dozens of pieces, as if pierced in ther middle by a rock. He released his concentration on the force, the one he had used to shatter the mirror, and let out a heavy breath through his nose.

"I'm still here." Her voice echoed in the emptiness of his room.

Then, all of a sudden, her face appeared in all the broken shards of glass. There were now so many of her, all there to haunt him.

"You're always here," he said glancing again at the scar on his naked chest.

She swallowed hard when she realised the meaning of his words. She tried not to look at it but her eyes involuntary fell on the scar on his face. And she felt...guilty, even ashamed, and she decided not to look at his face anymore. Instead, she returned her gaze to his back, broad and strong, naked before her. She could see tense muscles under his pale skin, could see all the other scars on his body.

Abruptly, he turned around, uncomfortable under her scrutiny. The look he gave her was challenging, daring even. The last time they had met like this, she had asked him to cover himself, uncomfortable with his body that bore the scars of war.

But now, now she was just staring, as if inspecting him. He could sense her calmness in the force and wondered if she perceived his anxiousness.

Rey's eyes were transfixed on the scarred flesh of his chest. She followed it with her gaze, traced it with her mind, but it was not enough; she wanted to touch it. Before she could overthink it, before she could talk herself out of it, she closed the space between them.

He had felt her move closer and it was strange; whilst her presence were pressing uncomfortably against his personal space, their forces were morphing, feeding into each other. He could feel the darkness in him give way to her light; could feel the light in her make room for his darkness, and time seemed to stand still for years.

She felt the urge stronger now that his presence, his force, was allowing the darkness in her to be. Determined, she reached her hand out.

She hadn't touched him yet, her hand was merely hovering over his exposed skin, but he felt her nonetheless. He felt her stand against all his barricades, and she felt like a tidal wave, ready to break down his dam. And he couldn't have that. In a fraction of a second, his bare hand locked itself around her elbow, almost painfully, stopping her hand.

She saw something in his eyes then, something she couldn't decipher even through the force; something that resembled fear...No, not fear but anticipation. Did he think she was going to hurt him? Leave another scar on him? Those thoughts both infuriated and saddened her,and, even more determined than before, she touched him. Only the slightest of movements, barely there, just her fingertips on his cold chest; and the force around them exploded in brilliant light. Light and darkness mixed together, until they turned into glorious grey.

She heard him draw in a shaky breath, could feel his lungs moving underneath her fingers, as his fingers released their hold on her one by one. He could feel his eyes on her, dark and threatening, passionate, wild; and she raised her own eyes to meet his.

It was as if worlds collided, as if everything around them crushed and burned to the ground, yet they were standing. Kylo felt that he could stand with her through everything. Or was that Ben? No! Ben had been afraid; he wasn't. Slowly dropping his gaze to her hand burning on his skin, burning more than the lightsaber had, he studied her hand for a moment, before looking back into her eyes.

He was daring her, she knew that; and yet, she didn't care. Slowly she began the ascent of her fingers on the hardened skin.

"Rey..." He wasn't sure if that was a sound; it felt more like a breath, something that needed to come put of him.

But she heard him. How could she not hear him when he said her name like that?

"You know, you left scars on me too," she whispered, and he felt her hot breath on his chest. "Not ones you can see but-"

"I see them," he interrupted, although he couldn't recognise the voice that had come out of his throat; so understanding, so caring.

She swallowed. "Of course you do."

They stopped. Her fingers stopped. They left his skin, their warmth now gone. She had barely reached his neck, and he wanted her to touch more of him, he wanted to open more of himself to her. No, he needed to.

Quickly and abruptly, as if she'd just realised what she'd been doing, she took her hand away and plastered it to her side.

"Ben, I..." Her voice was apologetic. But he didn't want to hear her apology,he didn't really want to hear anything else. He wished their connection to be over, and, somehow, it was.

 **AN: Don't know what's wrong with the font but hope you like it :)**


	3. Dust to dust

AN: The titleidea was inspired by the song Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars-I don't own any of the lyrics, just this story.

We dance round and round the flames in front of us...

She didn't know what she was doing on this god-forsaken planet, didn't know what she was hoping to find. Perhaps she wasn't hoping to find anything more then herself. She had spent all her life in waiting, waiting for someone to claim her, waiting for belonging, waiting for purposes. And she had found all of them, as Maz had predicted, in the end. The only problem there was now, was the tension between those that gave her a purpose and the man that had claimed her.

Somehow, that word made her think of Kylo, not Ben; and that made her think about Han. Han, the closest thing she'd ever had, the closest think she'd probably ever have, to a father.

"He would have disappointed you."

His words echoed in her mind and this was the first time she allowed herself to acknowledge the possibility that he might be right. Perhaps it was because she could hear now, the words behind what he'd said.

"He disappointed me."

She felt an ache in her heart, but she didn't want to think about either of those broken men for a while, so, searching around the Millennium Falcon, she found an old gramophone. She turned it on and a slow, jazz tune started playing. Without realising, Rey started to sway to the music.

He didn't know how long he'd spent just watching her dance. It was an intoxicating view. Maybe because she was alone and free to be herself, maybe because she was simply free. He couldn't imagine it, feeling free in his father's ship, the one that had always plagued his young heart with sorrow and disappointment.

It was that, the memory of his father, that urged him to speak.

"I used to love this song." His voice, he realised, sounded nostalgic.

Rey turned around, shocked by his sudden appearance and the fact that she had not sensed him through the force. She stopped dancing and was stood awkwardly in the middle of the ship as the song kept playing.

"I used to love this ship." He carried on, his voice lower now.

"What happened?" Rey knew that was a silly question to ask, because she knew, everybody knew. And yet, she didn't know for sure and she found she desperately wanted to.

He looked at her, his gaze direct, not faltering for a second. "I buried that part of me. With Ben. With my father."

She sat down then, crossed legged on the hard surface of the ship, all of a sudden feeling too tired to stand. "I used to think I buried this place, as well." Her tone was soft, understanding. He looked at her quizzically then, as if asking why was she here now; and she answered "I guess I was wrong."

He felt it, the communion between them, their shared struggle with the past. He wasn't sure if she'd intended for him to feel that, but he did, and it had made him feel safe; safe enough that he took a seat in front of her, mimicking her position.

"Let the past die...you said that to me once," she said, he simply nodded. "What if I can't?" she asked, the same frustration he felt, now evident in her voice.

"I can show you," he offered, briefly considering to offer her his hand, but deciding against it. Then, he closed his eyes and opened his mind to her.

She felt it, the shift in the force his mind had created. She could feel his mind open up to her, could see through the thoughts in his head. She closed her eyes then, because this felt strangely intimate.

He could feel her, in his mind and in the force all around him. She was gentle, caring; her force caressing his. He didn't know what she would find, didn't know what he'd want her to find, but he allowed her to move freely within him anyway.

She traced the corners of his mind, inspecting all the sharp edges, taking her time with his memories. She wanted to build a map for his mind, one that would allow her to come back to certain places, things he's seen, felt, thought about. She soon found out his mind was a labyrinth, easy to get lost in and hard to find your way out of.

Although he knew this was a bad idea, he could now feel it in every pore of his being. The moment she had stumbled upon the memory of him killing his father, he had felt a sharp pain in his chest. It surprised him, he had thought he had dealt with that. In an instant, he pushed her our of his mind, barricading the doors on his thoughts as soon as she was out.

Rey gasped and opened her eyes, the force he had used to kick her out leaving her breathless.

His eyes were already open and he was staring her down.

"You didn't let go," she said. "You can't."

The look in his eyes made her stop; she could see a muscle moving in his clenched jaw, but he didn't say anything.

When the silence became unbearable, she asked, hesitantly, "Ben?" She watched his features morph at the sound of his own name into sadness, guilt, shame; then fear, anger, hostility.

"Ben is dead!" He spat.

And he was gone.

...dust to dust.


	4. Say something

AN: Inspired by the song Say Something by A Great Big World Christina Aguilera. I don't own any of the lyrics :) enjoy

Say something i'm giving up on you...

Kylo Ren was observing the destruction of his ship from the celling-to-floor windows in his quarters. Whilst he was infuriated with his men for not being able to prevent this, to better protect the ship, he couldn't deny he was impressed with the efforts of the Resistance. But he was calm, strangely so, not affected in the slightest by the fact that he was now loosing.

And then he felt her, and everything made sense.

He felt her through the force, close by. No wonder he was calm, serene even; she always had that effect on him, and he both hated and loved that. He felt her closer now and he lightened his lightsaber, but it wasn't as a defence, more like an instinct.

The door opened and he knew, he knew she would be behind it, standing firm with her own lightsaber lighted, but he still couldn't help it, the breath was knocked out of him. There she stood before him,all flesh and blood and real, more real than she ever was in their force bond.

She entered the room and he felt silly holding his lightsaber on; so he turned it off, storing it safely into his belt.

"I could never hurt you, Rey," he admitted, gazing at the lightsaber in her hands and not at her face.

"Couldn't you?" she challenged but turned her lightsaber off nonetheless.

When there was no light from the lightsaber for him to focus on, he finally looked at her; and she was so gloriously alive. Her hair, which seemed longer now, was braided but small pieces were stuck to her flushed cheeks. She must have been fighting his stormtroopers; at that thought, he quickly inspected her body for any wounds, and was relieved when he didn't find any.

"We are winning, you know?" she said, uncomfortable with the silence now that they were finally together in the flesh.

He shrugged. "You're merely taking over a ship when there are so many others. You're not winning the war." He wasn't trying to be cruel; she was just too naive.

"No, Ben," she said moving closer to him, "we are winning. This is only the beginning." Her voice was stern, she truly believe all she'd just said.

"And you're here to what? Gloat?" He asked, mocking her for declaring a victory that seemed so unreachable.

But his words didn't have any effect on her; she wouldn't falter, she had a mission.

"I'm here fo you," she said simply, then took a step closer to make sure he knew she meant it.

He clenched his jaw. "I'm not joining you."

She moved closer then. "Why?"

"Why?" He repeated her question, not understanding what she was looking for.

"Yes, why?" she asked again as she closed the gap between them.

They were merely a breath apart, perhaps not even that. For a second, Kylo broke contact with her, before swiftly returning his gaze to hers again.

"Because I'm the enemy and whatever galaxy you and your friends are trying to build has no room for me in it."

That made her eyes turn sad, hopeless, as if she couldn't see the light in him anymore. Perhaps because there wasn't any left.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye then," she whispered as she got on her toes and kissed his cheek; his right cheek, the same one she had left a scar on. It was an abomination of nature, a distortion of reality caused by the force, he was sure of it, for he had felt the father touch of her lips more intensely than he had felt the pain caused by the lightsaber. "There will always be room for you," she whispered the words close to his ear, not knowig if they were really true, yet hoping they could be. "Goodbye, Ben."

...I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you...

She tried to smile at him, to leave him with that memory of her face, but all she mustered was a grimace. When she took a few step backwards, he didn't move, didn't react in anyway; and when she realised he wasn't going to stop her, she turned around to leave him. And it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. She thought that being deserted by her parents couldn't be matched by any other pain, but this was worse, leaving him was worse.

Ben watched her leave and said goodbye, quietly, to everything he would have ever wanted;everything he'd alway needed. And, for the first time in what seemed like forever, Kylo Ren allowed that part of himself that he would always block, feel this pain; and he let Ben take over.

He was quick to act, closing the space between them in a few long strides, grasping her hand and turning her towards him. He saw the confused expression on her face but he didn't want to explain, he just wanted to feel her alive and real and next to him; so he crushed his lips against her.

...anywhere I would have followed you...

At first, she was shocked and motionless, unsure of what to do. His kiss didn't feel like only a kiss, it was words and hopes and dreams and apologies that he tried to convey through the desperate movement of his lips. She surprised herself when she responded with that same need, shoving her hands in his dark hair, desperately trying to bring him closer, bring him with her.

Their lips danced against each other just as their forces did. Slowly, their dance became less erratic and more calm, sweet and slow, as if they had all the time in the world.

But all too soon, they were out of time, and he broke apart their kiss. Laying his forehead against hers as he cradled her face in his hands, he whispered against her lips: "Goodbye, Rey."

...you're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye.


	5. Confessions

Confessions

"Get out, Ben!" Rey said, looking out the window, refusing to look at him. She looked so sad and tired, wrapped up in that blanket and with her head resting against the window.

He wasn't really surprised by her words, the last time the force had connected them,she had stormed out on him. Apparently, that was something they could now do. But, "I can't," was all he said to her now.

She scoffed. "For once, I just wish you'd have a better excuse."

That angered him, her annoyance and the implications of her words really angered him. "You know I can't control our force bond," he accused.

She turned her head to glare at him, but her eyes involuntarily softened at the sight of him. He seemed tired. "What I know is that you and I can influence the bond...Ben." She had added his name after a few moments, almost like an after thought.

Looking into her eyes and hearing his name on her lips, he found himself confessing: "Then you know I can't not be here."

For a moment, a single, lonely moment, she wanted to get up and hug him, pull him closer to her, feel him in the force and around her, because of what he'd just said. But then, she realised the tragedy behind his confession and she simply turned back around, laying her head against the window again.

"And you can't be here either..."

 **AN: Just a short one but hope you enjoyed it**


	6. Longing

Longing

Rey was focusing hard on the pebbles dancing in front of her in midair. She brought one of the pebbles, the one with the most sharp edges, closer to her eyes so she could inspect it.

"What if I wasn't me?"she asked the man sat besides her, only there through the force.

Kylo pondered her question for a while. Locking his gaze on one of the pebbles Rey was levitating, he willed it to come his way. He felt her force opposing his. "I would have never caused you harm," he said and she let go of her hold on that one pebble.

"Hmm," she mussed, "what if you weren't you?" She focused harder on holding the pebbles up, not wanting to become aware of his emotions, because she knew that that would break her concentration.

"Then your world would have probably been a better place," he said and she gazed at him then, unable to look away. He took advantage of that and called all the pebbles in front of him, but she didn't seem to notice that; or if she did, she didn't care.

"You could still make my world a better place, Ben!" she said hopeful.

He looked at her and smiled. Then, sending a few pebbles her way, he urged her to take control of them. Together, they made the pebbles dance against each other, made them connect to each other as if they were magnets; it was magnificent what their combined forces could achieve.

That very thought, was what pushed him to say what he said next: "What if you'd have taken my hand that day?"

In seconds, the pebbles fell to the ground and the union between them shattered; just like it did that day.

"What if you would have taken mine?"


	7. Grief

Grief

She glanced at the black dress spread out on her bed, and it made her uncomfortable. She didn't know if it was the dress itself or just its colour and what it represented.

All of a sudden, a fresh wave of grief hit her. It was unfair, really, she had had to grieve the loss of her parents from such a young age, and then she had grieved Han's death, and now Leia's. It was too much, it felt as if she'd lost her own parents anew.

And he didn't even care.

Rey hated it, hated him for not caring about the death of his own mother. Hated him for not turning to the light and coming home whilst she was still alive. Most of all, Rey hated him for being so detached, for not being there...

The procession had been long, and when she finally got back to her room, she realised she was more tired than she had thought. With a heavy sigh, she leaned her forehead against the cool door.

"Rey." He didn't know why he'd said her name, why he felt the need to make her aware of his presence. Maybe it was the black dress she was wearing and the fact he didn't really like that colour on her, which was mad because he wanted her on his side; or maybe it was the fact she looked so small, so tired and so fragile, leaning her body against the door.

Rey felt the blood boil in her veins at the sound of his voice. She was so deeply buried in her pain that she had missed the gentleness in his voice. Stealing herself, she turned around to look at him. "What do you want?" Her tone had surprised him, she could see that. "Hm? What do you want? To gloat over our loss? To mock my pain? To just-"

"She was my mother," he said abruptly, stopping her ranting.

"How dare you?" she accused, marching up to him and punching him in the chest. He was surprised at the intensity of her punch and could tell the force had taken some of the force of the blow. "How dare you call her that?" She punched him again. "When you weren't even here? When you didn't even say goodbye? When you didn't even care." She was furious now, throwing punches at his chest recklessly, not really thinking about it, just trying to hurt him.

In a swift motion, Ben trapped her hands with his, bringing her closer to his body. He'd only aimed to stop her assault against his body, but as he pulled her close, as her eyes,glistening with tears, found his own, he had felt it: her grief. Not just through the force, it was emanating from every pore of her being. She wasn't just grieving Leia, she was grieving all the parents she'd lost.

And that broke something in him. Gently, he removed his hands from her own, only to put them around her and cradle her in his arms. Rey felt the tears come unbidden, heard herself let out a violent cry. But Ben held her; he held her in his arms for what felt like hours as she cried, and knew that he would have happily held her all his life if she wanted him to.

 **AN: so I know this is kind of a sad one, but I just think this might be something they will explore in Episode 9 and thought it would be fun to do my take on it. Let me know what you think I really appreciate all the reviews and follows! You guys are great thank you**


	8. Blood

**Blood**

Rey was walking down the corridor to her room. There were so many things on her mind, so many things she would have to attend to, but she tried not to focus on that. She was exhausted; she just wanted to get to her room.

She felt it as soon as she opened the door, the shift in the force, and suddenly, she wasn't walking into her room anymore; she was walking into his. Or what was left of it.

From where she was, Rey could see the marks the lightsaber had left on the wall, could see the broken pieces of glass, the dented table, the smashed monitors; but she couldn't see him. Turning around on her heels, Rey gazed upon Kylo Ren. Or what was left of him.

Sat on the floor, with his back against the wall and his head bent low, Kylo refused to acknowledge her presence. He had sensed her, sensed her so deeply that it frightened him. It must have been the pain, the grief that had left him raw, and more sensitive to her presence.

The sight of him scared her. Perhaps that was not a good word; he had scared her before, terrified her when they first met. He had frightened her when he had invaded her mind and this, this was not that. No, the sight of him didn't scare her...it broke her. It broke something deep within her being, something that soon turned into compassion.

And it was that way, with compassion in her eyes, that she decided to look at him. He sat with his back against the wall, but his shoulders were fallen, his head was bent over and his hair looked a mess. She could see, on the hand that was resting on his bent knee, dark bruises forming and dried blood around his knuckles.

"Ben," she said tentatively, her voice only a whisper.

Nothing happened; he didn't move.

"Ben," she tried again, her voice more firm now.

She could see his head move, just the slightest bit; and then she heard it, the snickering. The most humourless and painful laugh she had ever heard. It was accusatory and mocking.

"What do you want, Rey?" His words were intended to hurt her, but they came out suffocated, tired; and her heart broke anew.

"Ben," she whispered again. And there was so much empathy, so much grace and kindness in her voice, that he couldn't help it; he looked up.

His eyes, they were bloodshot and ridden with pain, with deep dark circles around them, as if he hadn't slept in years. She knew she would never be able to forget that look. As he looked up to her, she felt the overwhelming urge to comfort him, to help him mourn his loss. Moving closer, she knelt down before him and touched his bloodied hand.

"I'm sorry," she said, pretending not to notice how he'd flinched when she had touched him, how he'd almost pulled away from her touch.

Ben simply watched her. Watched her hand on his, trying to provide comfort, watched her eyes trying to awaken the connection between them. He just watched her; he couldn't do anything else.

When she realised she was unable to connect deeper with him through the force, Rey knew she had to offer him comfort in a different. Moving even closer, still knelt in front of him, she slowly put her arms about him, bringing him closer to him.

Ben felt his body stiffen at the unusual contact; he couldn't remember the last time he'd been hugged. Gradually, he eased into her embrace and buried his face deep in her hair, inhaling her scent. It was so calming, everything about her: her heartbeat, her scent, the warmth of her arms.

Slowly, Ben put his own arms around her and realised that too soon, he had started clinging to her body, holding on for dear life. He brought his hands to her hair, pushing their bodies closer and burying his face in the croak of her neck. Then, he finally let go.

And Rey held him; she held him for what felt like a thousand years and knew that she could hold him for a thousand more, if he wanted her to.

 **AN: so I know this is very similar to the last one, but I wanted to approach it from different angles; let me know which one you like best :)**


	9. Years and Years

**AN: Update! I have finally finished writing a part 2 for this so make sure to check that out after you finish this :)**

 **Years and years**

Rey took in a shaky breath. She felt odd in the crisp white dress, with the white scarf around her neck and the tiara on her head. _It is not a tiara,_ she could practically hear Poe's voice in her head, _just something to remind them of your leadership. You are now the leader of the Resistance_. She had heard it in her friend's voice then, the pain of loosing Leia, but also how proud he was of her. Smoothing her hands over her dress she entered the meeting room.

He was already there. Of course he was. She was surprised she hadn't felt him through the force. But then again, they hadn't used the bond in years. Not since his mother's death.

Rey was surprised to see he was wearing a mask. He looked every inch the Supreme Leader of The First Order; he looked just as menacing as the first time they'd met.

"Look where the little scavenger ended up." He was the first to speak, his voice metallic, altered by the mask.

She decided to ignore that comment, and, squaring her shoulders, she replied:"I thought you'd given up the mask, thought the people needed to see and fear the Supreme Leader." Her voice was just as void of emotion as his.

She thought she had heard him chuckle, but it was hard to tell because of the mask. Then, swiftly, he pulled the mask off his head, as if it were nothing, as if seeing him again after 5 years would be as easy as that. She remembered well the face behind the mask, and even though his face looked older, more mature and somehow harsher, she found that she could still find Ben in those features. She let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding.

Kylo allowed himself to get intoxicated by the sight of her. For only a few moments, he allowed his eyes to roam over her body, that long dress that made her look more like a queen than a warrior, her hair that had grown so much, and her face, her sweet, innocent face. He hated that face, it had tormented him for years, followed him wherever he went and haunted him in his dreams; and finally, he was able to see it again. He looked away.

"Should we take a seat?" Rey suggested as she moved to the chairs that had been set in the room especially for them.

Kylo followed after her. "Why am I here?" he inquired as he sat down.

"An armistice," she said simply, as if it wasn't the most absurd thing. "The Resistance would like to offer The First Order a peace treaty. There is no reason for this war to go on anymore, you can turn to the light, Ben!"she pleaded.

She was trying to manipulate him using that name. He felt the blood boil in his veins, yet he answered calmly:"That is not my name, and as for your offer, no, I don't think The First Order would benefit from your so called armistice." He realised he had leaned forward when he spoke, so he moved back, leaning into the back of the chair as if this was the most comfortable he'd ever been.

Rey leaned forward. "But the Resistance is advancing, gaining ground on you. We have already taken over so many of your ships. It's time to stop this war, Ben, to stop before we loose any more lives!"

Her speech was so heartfelt, so passionate, so real to her; but there it had been again, his name. He hated her for doing that, so he did what he did best, he mocked her, mocked her goodness, mocked the "power" of the light. "Are you offering me a leadership position besides you, Rey?"

The way he had delivered that comment was intended to sting, but she didn't waver. "I can still see your future, as clearly as I saw it that day."

He hadn't expected that. He hadn't expected her voice to be so determined, he hadn't expected her to use the memory of that day in such a way. He got up quicker than he thought was humanly possible, putting as much space between them before he said: "I offered you the same thing once, you could have stopped all of this then." He hadn't realised how betrayed he still felt by her actions.

She got up as well, closing the space between them slightly."No, you offered me destruction. I am offering you the light!" she argued.

"And is the light yours to give?" he asked incredulously. "You've become arrogant, Rey," he accused. "My mother's postion doesn't suit you."

She let out a frustrated sigh before ripping off the scarf and tiara, and tossing them to the ground. "Then forget about all of this," she said, coming closer to him still. "I'm not Rey, the leader of the Resistance, I'm just a girl, a scavenger," she laughed, "and I'm asking you to come this way," and then she extended her hand to him and felt the weight of the whole galaxy hanging on her tired shoulders. This must have been how he had felt: so raw, so vulnerable, so open to her rejection; just as she was now.

Infuriated, and not able to think clearly at that exact moment, Kylo grabbed her hand and pulled her close to his body. Looking down at her, staring deeply into her eyes, he asked: "What can you possibly offer that I don't have?" His voice was breathless, as if he'd just ran a marathon.

Rey was basking in the amazing feeling of being close to him, of their forces joining once again, and she'd almost missed his question. Almost. Putting her hand on his cheek, touching the scar she had left there so many years ago, she whispered: "Companionship. Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore."

He pulled away from her touch as if her hand had somehow burned his skin. Then, letting go of her, he put as much space between them as possible; suddenly, the room felt very small. "That didn't work on me then, why would you think it would now?"he barked out. "Hm, what was all of this for?"

"Because I've missed you," she confessed, her voice small. "And because I wanted to see you."

Just then, a stormtrooper rushed through the doors. "Supreme Leader, they are attacking our ship!", he announced before leaving again.

Kylo quickly turned from his soldier to Rey, hate and anger visible in his dark eyes."You've tricked me!"he accused through his teeth. "Kept me here with your little speeches," he spat out, "whilst your fleet was atacking my ship." Raising his hand, he invoked the force and pulled her towards him. He felt her opposing him, but he had been quicker; now, she was in front of him and his hand had clasped tightly around her neck.

Rey was surprised he hadn't hurt her more, she knew he would attack as soon as he found out about their plan. "You didn't give me a choice," she struggled to let out, "I didn't trick you, I offered you another option. Everything I just said stands," she said before letting out a breath. "Now," she said, grinding her teeth, "let go of me," using the force, she pushed him away from here.

Kylo stumbled a few feet backwards before shouting back at her: "And what if I say no,Rey? Are you gonna kill me? We both know you don't have it in you!"

In a rush of rage, Rey pulled the lightsaber out of her belt and igniting it, she ran to his side, until she had the lightsaber up against his throat. But he was quick to act and stop her lightsaber with his own. Staring at each other, with their faces lightened by the blue and red light, they both felt the last five years wash over them. The betrayal, the rejection, the guilt and shame, the anger and hate, the loneliness, the pain.

"Are we going to keep this up forever?" She was the first to speak and she sounded exhausted.

He leaned in, the force of his lightsaber against hers making her lean back. But then he turned his lightsaber off completely and let it fall out of his hand. "Maybe you should just end it now." He wasn't sure if he had heard it correctly, but that had sounded more like Ben's voice rather than Kylo's.

In the blue hue of the lightsaber, Ben could see tears forming in Rey's eyes, saw one of them escape down her cheek. He longed to wipe it off; he didn't. "Come on, Rey," he urged her, "end this!"

"No," she said through sobs, her hands shaking on the lightsaber. "No!" she said again and tossed the lightsaber to the side. "No," she repeated, moving closer and cupping his face in her hands. She leaned her forehead against his and felt the tears fall unbidden.

Ben felt his own tears on his cheeks. He held her face in his hands, desperately looking for a way to stop her from hurting, but he didn't seem to be able to find one.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against her lips, "I'm sorry." He said it again and again and again. And he kept apologising as they both kept crying and holding each other as close as they had wished all those five years they had been apart.

 **AN: Gosh, thank you so much for the lovely reviews and all the follows! So the next couple of oneshots to come will be set in the future as well! I'm excited for you to read them and tell me what you think ;)**


	10. Desperate

**AN:First of all, I just want to thank you all for the faves and follows, but also give a special shout out to Leona2016! Thank you so so much for all the reviews! I'm so glad you are enjoying the one shots and hope you'll like this one too.**

 **Now let's get into it!**

 ** _Desperate_**

"Look, I'm not saying we should do things the way the First Order used to,but-"

"Well that's reassuring,"she scoffed.

Kylo Ren was following Rey into an elevator on one of the Resistance ships; although he didn't really call himself that anymore, these days he preferred Ben. He let out an exasperated sigh. "You know what? Let's just forget this," he said, pressing the button that would take them to the main quarters. He could feel the annoyance coming off of her in waves. They were still deeply connected through the force and he was more aware of her feelings than he usually cared to admit.

"No, let's go on. Please do tell me all the reasons you hate the ways of the Jedi." Rey wasn't facing him, so when she spoke, she looked at him over her shoulder.

Ben could tell her arms were crossed and could feel her irritation. "I don't hate their ways," he explained, "I just think they can be improved. The way the Sith did it-"

She turned around, astonished at the fact that he would talk about the Sith, and that made him stop. "The way they did it caused so many people to die," she accused, coming closer to him and staring in his eyes as if trying to decide whether he was going off the rails again.

He returned her gaze, challenging her to say the things he knew she wanted to say.

"My way is better," she said but she couldn't look at him just then.

He took a step closer, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. "No, your way only kills you."

The way he had said those words, paired with the nearness of him, made her swallow hard. She knew why he was saying that, it was because of the boundaries she had implemented on her relationship with him. The Jedi weren't supposed to give into their emotions, it wasn't safe, it wasn't for the greater good; and she knew that if she and Ben would give into whatever they were feeling, it wouldn't end well.

"Rey," he said gently, but she was saved by the elevator doors that opened with a bing.

When she ran as far away from him as she could, Ben sighed and exited the elevator as well. He was taking off his black gloves, which for some reason he had chosen to keep, and watched her sit down in front of one of the monitors. Setting his gloves on the table, he asked: "Are we really not going to talk about this?" He saw her hands stop, saw her body stiffen.

"I," she started, but paused to clear her voice, "I thought we were done with that conversation."

"No, you were," he accused.

She turned around in her chair. "What do you want me to say, Ben? That we can work something out? That this won't turn out the same as last time?"

"What was so wrong then?" he challenged. "What are you so afraid of?"

She got up from her chair. "You want to know what I'm afraid of? I'm afraid of losing myself. I'm afraid because we are connected in a way that doesn't allow me to see where _I_ end and _you_ begin. I'm afraid that I'll chose wrong and this", she said motioning the the room around them, "would have all been in vain."

Her voice had been raised and she was breathing harder now, and maybe it was that, maybe it was the rosey colour of her cheeks; or maybe it wasn't any of those things. Maybe it was just him and his desire to have her close, to not know where he ends and she begins, that made him march up to her and kiss her.

The kiss had caught them both by surprise, but after regaining their senses, they both grabbed at each other, bringing one another as close as possible. The kiss was desperate, needy and trying to convey everything they both had kept hidden for so long. When they finally pulled apart, their ragged breathes mixing in the space between them, they simply gazed into each other's eyes, marvelling at the colour of the force hidden there.

It was _grey_.


	11. Calm

**AN: thank you again for all the follows and faves and reviews.**

 **SoloRen: so glad you liked them all! Means a lot, thank you**

 **AdventurousLife: i'm glad you're asking for more :) I am working on a couple of things atm but have actually thought about turning some of these into multiple parts kind of thing. I definitely have some ideas for a Years and Years part 2, so I guess stay tuned :)**

 **Also, if any of you guys would like more of any of the chapters that have been update so far, I would love to hear your suggestion and maybe it could happen.**

 **Now, let's get into it!**

 _ **Calm**_

 _It was happening all over again, the splintering of his spirit, the piercing pain in his heart, as he drove the lightsaber straight through him...his father. It was as if those two words, his father, erupted inside him, igniting all that guilt and shame he'd thought he'd buried._

 _He let go of his father's lifeless body and stared at his blood smeared hands._

Ben woke up sweating. This was the third nightmare he'd had that week. They had all been the same, all repeating the same day he killed his father. He supposed that guilt was something he would have to deal with his entire life. It didn't matter that he'd accepted the light in him, it didn't matter that he'd chosen to fight on the side of the Resistance or that his mother had forgiven him. None of that matter; the guilt was inside him, plaguing him from within.

Doubting he'd be able to go back to sleep, Ben got out of his bed, discarding of the shirt he'd sweat through. Walking to the common area, he simply looked out one of the windows, trying to get lost in the millions of starts out there.

"Hey," Rey said softly, touching his shoulder. She had been meditating, trying to find a deeper connection with the force, when she felt the commotion. She loved that she could still feel him through the force, that it didn't end when he had joined their side.

Ben smiled warmly at her as he put his arm around her back and brought her closer to his body. "Hey."

Rey nuzzled in the crock of his neck, breathing in his masculine scent. Closing her eyes, she whispered against his skin: "What's wrong?"

He loved it, how the feeling of her so close to his body still felt new and exciting. He loved the thrill of her knowing him so deeply through the force. He loved not feeling alone; it was an addictive state of being. He sighed before he answered: "It's Han." Somehow, in that moment, it felt wrong to call him father.

He felt her stiffen at his side and he looked down at her just as she looked up at him.

"Ben." She raised a hand to stroke his cheek, but didn't say anything more than that.

Yet, only by looking into her eyes, he knew she understood. Somehow, someway, his beautiful and pure Rey, understood his deepest, darkest parts. And she accepted them. He smiled at her before she nestled back against his chest.

"I love you, Ben," she said, not because she thought he needed to hear it, but simply because it was true and she wanted to say it.

Pulling her even closer to him, using both his strength and the force, Ben kissed the top of her head and felt all the darkness inside him give way to the light of her love.

 **AN: so, they finally dropped the I love you bomb! Been a long time coming :)) hope you liked it**


	12. You need a teacher

**_You need a teacher..._**

Rey was moving faster than she had done before. She could feel the adrenaline pumping though her veins. He was raising the steaks, she knew that. He had been holding back before, but not now. He sent objects flying towards her with the force and she managed to dodge every last one of them.

She grinned, proud of herself. But that was a mistake, in a moment, Ben pulled her body towards him with the force and was closing his hand around her neck. She tried to pry his hands away but he wouldn't bulge; then she remembered her training. In a swift motion, she punched his abdomen; gasping for air, he let go of her. Taking advantage of that, Rey pushed him to the floor and standing on top of him, she drew out her knife and drove it through his chest. Almost.

"And you die," she said, trying to catch her breath, still pointing the knife to his heart.

Ben smiled. He found that he enjoyed her cockiness. Yet, in a swift motion, he grabbed both her hands and swung her body to the side, until he was standing on top of her, holding her hands hostage above her head. He could see a spark of annoyance in her eyes when he smirked at her. "Do try to remember that the stormtroopers won't have the disadvantage of being in love with you," he said and leaned in for a kiss but stopped midway as Rey pointed the knife towards him yet again. "Really?" He raised one dark eyebrow, but Rey only lifted her head in defiance.

Ben let out a low, dark chuckle. He pushed her hands together, grabbing both hands with only one of his, then, with his now free hand, he took the knife and threw it across the floor.

Rey scoffed. "Show off," she mumbled.

Ben leaned in a second time, but this time, he only did it so he could whisper in her ear. "You need a teacher." She could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

Ben let go of her hands, then pushed himself up and offered her his hand. She gracefully denied; well, not really gracefully, she just shoved his hand. That made him laugh and she couldn't help but smile at that sound; it was strange, it still felt new to her, even after all these years.

"Come on," he said extending his hand, once she was on her feet, "I'll let you win next time."

"I don't need you to let me win," she said but took his hand nonetheless.

Before he could react in any way, Rey had twisted his hand behind his back and pushed him with his face against the wall.

"See?"she whispered in his ear, "I can manage alone." She twisted his hand a little more, just enough to cause him pain; she was satisfied to hear him groan. "This," she said, "is because you said loving me is a disadvantage," and then she let go.

Turning around, Ben inspected his hand for any damage, then looked at her smirking still. "That was a good one. You must have a great teacher!"

She just rolled her eyes at him but did ask: "Is your hand okay?"

"I'll live," he grinned, "but it definitely doesn't compare to the scar."

"I'm leaving," she announced, pretending to be irritated with him.

"Oh come on, Rey," he shouted after her, "we both know that whenever you leave, I will come looking for you."

She smiled at that but it turned into a frown when he added: "Or, you know, the force will just conveniently connect us."

"Shut up, Ben," she shouted back, but he could hear the smile in her voice.

 **AN: so haven't posted in a while but here it is, I think this is the last one set in the future, for now.**

 **Hope you enjoyed it :)**


	13. When we were young

**AN: So decided to turn this into a longer story so if you want to read more of this, then go ahead and check out my other fanfic When we were young :)**

 _(Rey 9 Ben 12)_

Ben Solo was observing the little girl from behind the garden wall. He moved a dark lock of hair to the side so he could see better; he was fascinated by her. The agility of her body and how easily she had climbed that tree impressed him. When she reached the top branch, he saw her extend her hand towards a far away apple. It was strange, her hand was stretched out, her fingers spread apart and her brow furrowed in concentration. Ben didn't understand what she was trying to do.

But then he saw it, the apple, undoing itself from the branch and flying into her hand. The girl grinned, proud of herself, before taking a big bite out of the juicy apple. Ben couldn't hold it in anymore, he stepped out of the shadow of the wall and into the sun.

"What do you think you're doing?"he demanded angrily, as angrily as a 12 year old boy could.

Rey stopped dead in her tracks. How had she been caught, she was always so careful. But when she turned around and saw the voice belonged to a boy, she let out a breath of relief.

Jumping down from where she was, she landed square on her legs and took a few steps towards the boy. He looked to be a little bit older than her, with black, curly hair hanging over his eyes; he looked important, regal. She noticed something else, noticed his dark eyes and saw that he had been impressed by her abilities.

"Well?"he inquired again when she didn't reply. She just kept staring at him. "It's not polite to stare," he chastised her.

He saw one corner of her lip rise, then she took another bite of apple and circled him.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked,curious.

"Hm," she mused coming to a stop in front of him, "you look important." She had made that decision based on his clothes, and the way he addressed her. "Are you?"

"Of course I am." He felt offended by her question. "I am Ben Solo, my mother is the Princess, Leia...you thief." He didn't know why he'd added that, why he felt such a strong urge to humiliate her.

She only laughed at him. "Well I might be a thief, but if you are who you say you are, you are the son of a thief. The most famous scoundrel. Han Solo."

Ben felt a flush of anger rise to his cheeks. "Don't talk about my father like that!" He took a menacing step towards her.

"Or what?" she challenged him.

"Or I will have you killed," he threatened her, and he could tell that had worked when he saw her move a step backward.

"You wouldn't, would you?" she asked, fear obvious in her voice.

Ben knew he had two choices then: he could go on pretending he could harm her or he could be kind. At only 12, he was still young and the light was burning bright in him, so he chose right. "No," he said looking at the ground, "I wouldn't."

Rey felt herself smile as she extended her hand to him. "I'm Rey."

Without hesitating, Ben took her hand. "Nice to meet you, Rey."

 _(Rey 15 Ben 18)_

Ben sent an apple flying towards Rey by using the force. She hit the apple with her staff and sent it flying back; he dodged it just in time.

"You need to work on you reaction time," he said picking the apple off the ground and taking a big bite.

"And you need to work on throwing things by using the Force," she returned, sitting down and resting her back against a tree.

He came and sat beside her. He was so much taller now, his legs were long and his shoulders broad; he was taking too much space. Rey elbowed him in the ribs jokingly. "I never fit next to you anymore."

"You'll always fit next to me, Rey." He had said that casually, as he usually did, not making a big deal out of the fact that he had just told her she was precious, she was important, she was worthy to keep. Something her parents had never told her; they had never really said anything, they just abandoned her.

"So, you are leaving to train with Master Skywalker?"she asked, wanting to distract herself from the painful memory of her parents' abandonment.

Ben moved a piece of hair out of his face; it was longer now, and always in the way when she wanted to take a good look at his face.

"Yeah," he replied without looking at her.

"And?" she insisted.

"And?"he repeated, without looking at her still.

She moved in front of him, blocking the sun and staring right into his eyes. "Why aren't you excited about this?"she asked incredulously.

"Because," he said, toying with the rest of the apple and then tossing it away, "he will only train me in the ways of the Jedi."

"What other ways are there?" He could see confusion in Rey's sparkling brown eyes. For a moment, he looked at her and wondered how could anybody have abandoned how; how was _he_ going to be able to leave her and go to the temple.

"There is only one other way," he explained to her as she listened carefully. He loved teaching her, she was such a willing student, she cherished every word from his mouth. She waited in silence for him to continue, so he did: "The way of the Sith." He saw her face morph at the sound of that, saw the judgement in her eyes.

"But, but they are evil, Ben," she said as she moved back to her place against the tree. Yet her tone wasn't judgemental, only concerned.

"I know," he admitted, "but there are things we can learn from them."

"Like what?" She sounded judgemental now, and surprised.

"Like power, Rey! Being a Sith would give me so much power!"he said passionately, turning around to look at her.

"But it would take away your heart,"she whispered.

He huffed, getting up on his feet and turning away from her. "You don't understand, Rey! I have abilities! There are things that I can do, that nobody else can and Luke will never be able to appreciate that!"

"Ben?"she said tentatively as she got up too. "Who said that to you?"

Furious, he turned around and stared her down. "What, do you think I wouldn't be able to realise that on my own?"

She didn't back down from his stare. "No," she said, "but because that's not you. I know you and I know that somebody else put these ideas in your head."

He looked away, uncomfortable with how well she knew him, how well she could read him.

She saw a muscle clench in his jaw when she asked again: "Who is it?"

"His name is Snoke." He didn't know why he was telling her this. Maybe because he couldn't talk to his mother anymore, maybe because his father was never around, or maybe because she was his only real friend.

"What is he saying to you?"she inquired moving closer to him.

"He knows things about me," he said looking at her, "he sees

my abilities for what they are." She could see it, the arrogance flaring in his dark eyes. "I have so much power, Rey! There are so many things I could do."

It happened in seconds, so quickly she couldn't even pin point the exact moment the vision had started and ended. But she had seen it all; his future. Ben running away from his master, seeking solace with Snoke; she could see the dark clothes, the red lightsaber and a name, she had heard the whisper of a name...Kylo Ren.

When Rey looked back at him, with terror in her beautiful eyes, he knew he had made a mistake. He should have never told her, he couldn't trust her, he couldn't trust anybody. They didn't understand, he had a gift. Angered, he walked away from her.

Rey stood petrified, as the realisation hit her, she was going to lose Ben forever.

 **AN: Make sure to check out my other Reylo fanfic, Episode9: Grey**


	14. Snow

**AN: Thank you again for all the faves, follows and reviews :)**

 ** _Snow_**

"Oh, it's snowing on your side," she observed.

He looked up at the white flakes falling from the sky. "So it seems," he remarked as if he hadn't really seen them before, as if he hadn't noticed them before they became important to her; as if he couldn't see their stark white colour until she showed it to him. He observed the slow descent of the snowflakes until she spoke again a while later.

"It appears to be cold where you are," she said and he looked at her face again.

He nodded. "It always seems to be colder where I am."

Rey looked down, finding it hard to look at him when she said: "Do you remember that day?"

"Of course I do," he said, unsure of why there was now a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I remember you so vividly. You were so brave."

Her breath got caught in her throat and she looked up. He seemed genuine. "I wasn't brave," she simply said, "I was merely surviving."

Kylo wasn't sure why, but he let out a small laugh. "Well, whatever it was, you managed to leave me with this," he motioned to the scar on his cheek.

"Ben, I-" she started but he stopped her.

"No need," he said putting his hand up. "Let the past go, Rey."

She could still remember the last time he had said that to her. That memory was still so alive to her, as alive as if it had happened yesterday and not months ago. She felt woken up to reality by the cold touch of the single snowflake that had fallen on her cheek. She brought her hand to her cheek just as he brought one to his.

"Why is the force connecting us?" she asked again the question that had tormented them both for months.

Maybe it was the snow, maybe it was the calm of the day, or maybe it was none of that, what had pushed Kylo to give her an answer he hadn't given her before.

"Perhaps it's not the force that is connecting us."

But before she could ask what he meant, the bond between them broke and Rey was left staring at the desert in front of her. Oddly, she found she was missing the snow.

 **AN: just a short one, inspired by a picture I found on Pinterest! If you liked this, makesure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: When we were young and Episode9: Grey**


	15. Tired

**_Tired_**

Kylo Ren entered his dark room with a sigh. He pressed a palm to the door, making sure it stayed closed, as if that could have shield him of everything on the other side.

Rey felt him enter her presence, more slowly than before, as if even the force inside of him was exhausted. For some reason, she felt like she shouldn't say anything.

Finally letting his shoulders relax, after he knew he had put to much strength in closing that door, in locking himself in solitude, Kylo turned around. He was flabbergasted by the view in front of him, one that he knew for sure wasn't real. There, on his bed, lay Rey, stretched out on her back and looking up; and if it weren't for the glow of the moon on her skin, which was not visible in his room, he could have sworn she was right there with him and not just through a tenuous force bond. He couldn't help it, he let out a groan of frustration, for what reason, he didn't fully know.

"I don't control this," she was annoyed that she had to defend herself and refused to spare but a glance in his direction. "Where are you?"she asked when she realised she couldn't see his surroundings.

"I'm in my room," Kylo Ren said as he started the tedious process of undressing: first his gloves, then his cape, his tunic, his boots. Rey felt a flush come to her cheeks when she saw he'd only left on his black trousers and a black t-shirt,but she didn't look away. "And,"he continued as he sat on his bed, next to her, "you're in my bed."

She flushed harder, if that was possible, but resisted the urge to move away from him; for some reason she felt like he would win if she did that. So she just said:"No,I'm not, I'm light years away."

"If you say so," he said crossing his arms underneath his head and looking at the ceiling.

Rey couldn't help the urge to look at him; to stare at him more likely. "You look tired," she observed.

He let out an ironic laugh. "That's because I am tired," he pointed out.

She only rolled her eyes at his words. Could nothing ever be easy with him? After a long pause, she found herself asking, "Why are you tired?"

Kylo only shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. He especially didn't want to talk about it with her. He wasn't going to trick himself into thinking this was anything more than it was; an inconvenient force bond. "I'm not gonna talk about it, Rey." His tone wasn't necessarily harsh, but his words were final.

"Fine," she scoffed, turning her attention back at the sky. It was beautiful tonight, with millions of stars shinning even into the depths of darkness. She was so glad they had found this planet; she knew the others were busy rebuilding the Resistance but she had needed a few minutes, just a few, to just lay in the grass and stare at the sky.

"What does it look like?" She heard Ben's soft whisper.

She was startled by the sound of his voice and found herself staring at his profile again, when she asked: "What?"

"The sky...what does it look like?"

"Breathtaking," she heard herself whisper back, even though she was not looking at the sky anymore. No, she was transfixed by the sight of him: his dark, velvety hair, his piercing black eyes and his pale face, that looked different from the side; perhaps because she couldn't see the scar.

"Describe it to me," he pleaded and demanded at the same time.

She felt her breath catch in her throat before she started, still not looking away from him. "There are pale stars against this rich, black velvet," she said, and then finally looked away, perhaps to check if what she'd described was true.

Kylo looked at her then, and even though he didn't want to allow himself to stare at her, he did. She was far too fascinating to him for his eyes to be able to look away. He found that he enjoyed the tenderness of her face, the slight movement of her chest when she breathed, the caress of her eyelashes on her cheeks when she blinked.

"Tell me more," he heard himself whisper.

As she went on describing the majesty of the sky above her, he turned on his side, facing her, and closed his eyes, trusting her voice to guide him into rest.

"I can see it," he said after she had finished.

"I think it can see you too." Rey knew that what she had just said was silly, something you would tell a child that feels too small for this big world; and yet, she had felt the need to say it to him.

He opened just one eye and asked:"The sky?"

"The entire galaxy,"she answered with awe.

Kylo closed his eyes again and scoffed. "The galaxy probably hates me."

"The galaxy is more forgiving than you'd think," she countered.

"You're perhaps the only one in the galaxy that thinks so."

"Could I perhaps be the only one that matters?" It had come out of her like breath, simple and quick, almost like an instincts; but she regretted it now, and wished she could take it back.

He opened his eyes to look at her. He hadn't felt this conflicted in a while. Part of him longed to comfort her, to answer to the need in her heart, the same need he knew lived in his; but part of him wanted to put her in her place, a great part of him didn't want to allow her to think she was important to him. He thought it would be easy, lying to her when she wasn't looking at him, but he found that he couldn't; he couldn't lie to her about this.

"Rey..."he started tentatively.

Rey closed her eyes and drew in a breath."Tell me this," she said, "if it was just you and me and this galaxy, what would happen?" She knew it was stupid, toying with these ideas when her friends were only meters away putting together the Resistance, the very thing she fought for, the very think that made them enemies. She closed her eyes and let a tear escape to the side of her face.

He knew he shouldn't, that comforting her was not his place, and it will probably never be. But he wanted to. And he usually got what he wanted. Slowly, he stretched out his hand...but the connection disappeared before he could touch her.

He was left alone in his room, longing to touch her.

She was left alone in the night, longing to be comforted.

 **AN: please make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics When we were young and Episode9:Grey ;)**


	16. Years and Years part 2

**AN: This is the second part of the one shot called Years and Years, it can be read on its own but it will make more sense if you read that one first.**

 **For those of you who've been waiting for this...here you go! Hope you all enjoy it :)**

 ** _Years and Years(part 2)_**

She didn't know how it had happened, somehow, at some point, Ben had knelt in front of her, resting his forehead against her stomach. She ran her hands through his hair and whispered kind words to him.

After all this time, finally, in this moment, she could admit that she loved this man. TThat she had loved him ever since the day they had touched hands and she had seen his future. But what did he feel about her? What was it that was moving him so now? She doubted it had anything to do with his feelings for her, if he had any; it was probably his guilt, and only that. Rey felt a jab in her heart at the realisation of that. Of course it wasn't about her, how could it have been about her?

 _You're nothing_ , his words from long ago echoed in her mind. She knew they had belonged to Kylo Ren.

 _But not to me_ , whose words were those, she wondered.

Despite this realisation, despite her own pain, she held him.

Unaware of what was taking place in the meeting room, Poe barged through the doors, but when he saw the two of them embraced, he immediately looked away.

He cleared his voice before he spoke. "Rey, we need you in the control room. Now."

The commotion had already made Kylo get up and move a few feet away from Rey, his back turned to her.

Rey looked at Poe. "I'll be right there." The pilot nodded and left the room. As she moved towards the door, Rey became painfully aware of the ruffling sound of her dress, the only noise in the room. Once she reached the door, with her hand on the handle, she turned around to say to him: "I'm not sure if it is _my_ forgiveness you seek, or if my forgiveness will even be enough, but know that you have it," and with that, she was gone.

There were a million things battling in Kylo's mind, a million voices screaming in his head and all he wanted, was to hear _hers_. Looking at his mask neatly placed on the table, then at her tiara thrown across the floor, he couldn't help but remember that day in the throne room.

 _Join me_ , he had asked her. No, he had begged her. He had said _please_ , he had tried to convince her that was the best way. And now here they were, suspended somewhere in space, somewhere between love and hate, between forgiveness and resentment.

She had told him he had her forgiveness, but did he believe her? Did she have his? Could he trust her? She had brought him here under false pretence and then attacked his fleet, and what had he done? The Supreme Leader of the First Order had knelt before the scavenger turned princess and weeping, asked for her forgiveness.

With anger now flowing through his veins, he felt himself reaching for his red lightsaber discarder on the floor. Turning it on, he stared at the fiery glow of the kiber crystal.

"Ben?"

He mustn't have heard her come in, because, startled, he turned around ready to attack. But she looked at him, no fear in her eyes, not even surprise, just sorrow; and he hated himself for that. He clenched his fist around the lightsaber until his knuckles hurt, making the leather of his glove crack under the pressure.

"Ben..."

Every time, every single time she said his name like that, his body seemed to give in under the pressure of her voice, under the gentleness of her eyes. But he wouldn't allow it this time.

"What are planning to do with me?" he rasped.

"What?"she asked, surprised and confused.

"What," he was shouting now, "are you planning to do with me?"

"What are you asking me?" Her surprise was turning into hurt.

"I am asking if I am your prisoner, Rey," he spoke through clenched teeth.

"No," she bit out, "you are _my guest_." The irony of those words wasn't lost on either of them. "So you can put that down now," she said glaring at his lightsaber.

Ben turned it off but placed it safely back on his belt. She rolled her eyes.

"Is it really that impossible for you to trust me?"she asked, her temperament getting the best of her.

"Yes."

He had admitted to that so quickly, so wholeheartedly, that something in her snapped. Annoyed and determined, she marched to him and grabbing one of his hands, she placed it on her cheek after discarding of the glove.

"Then look inside," she said, searching his eyes, "look and see everything you need to see." She closed her eyes and brought down all the barriers she had worked so hard to place around her mind and allowed him free access.

Ben was overwhelmed. He was overwhelmed by her action, by the feel of her skin against his, by all of her thoughts and feelings and emotions. She had opened up, her mind and thoughts just there for his inspection and he couldn't help but feel that in this moment, she was his.

Rey was panting, but not from the effort of opening her mind, but from the excitement of exploring his. She didn't know if he had done it on purpose, if he had also chosen to open his mind to her, or if it was just a consequence of allowing him into her mind; but she didn't care. The first time she had explored his mind, so many years ago, it was to find a weakness, something she could turn against him; now, what she wanted to find was _him_ , what made him happy, what made him sad. She was surprised to find that the answer to both those question was _her_ ; she caused him both joy and sorrow.

They both pulled out of each other's minds when the effort had become too much, when being in the other's mind had become too intoxicating a feeling.

As she looked up at him, her chest rising and falling in an erratic manner, Rey whispered: "Now you've seen me."

Ben leaned his forehead against hers. "And you've seen me."

 **AN: Make sure to check out my other Reylo fanfics Episode9: Grey and When we were young :)**


	17. Naboo

**AN: I know I haven't update here in ages...but I was quite busy with my other two Reylo fanfics. If you haven't checked them out yet, please make sure you do: When we were young and Episode9:Grey ;)**

 **This was inspired by Anakin and Padme, as I've just seen episodes 1,2 3. Hope you enjoy it xxx**

 _Ben and Rey on Naboo_

"My grandparents got married here," Ben said running his finger down Rey's naked back. "Of course, they did it in secret."

Their bedroom opened into the balcony that overlooked the lake. The door was halfway opened, letting in the cool breeze of the night. The moon was shining above.

"Why?" Rey asked, turning around in bed to look at him.

Ben was surprised at the jolt of happiness he still felt in his heart when he saw her face, and hoped it wouldn't go away any time soon. He gently pined a strand of her messy hair behind her ear. "Well, she was of royal bloodline and a senator at the time, and he was training to be a Jedi, and they were not allowed to have attachments," he explained.

"Hm," Rey mused, placing her palm on his chest and resting her chin on it. "And they still did it anyways?"

Ben nodded. "They did." His hand had began a slow descent down her bare arm that he was intensely following with his gaze.

"Because they were in love?"

Ben looked at her then. "Because they were in love," he confirmed.

She looked at him funny, a big grin on her face.

"What?"he asked amused.

"We're just like your grandparents," she grinned.

He smiled at her. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Well," she started, "It did take us a while to get here," she allowed. Then running a finger over the scar that ran from his neck all the way to his eye, she added, "And some scars."

Ben's eyes immediately fell on the scar on her arm and he gently brushed his finger over it. "I'm sure it wasn't that easy for them either."

"Yeah, it's never easy with a Skywalker, is it?"she teased.

Ben smirked before pushing Rey on her back and climbing on top of her. "I'm only half Skywalker," he whispered against her neck where he's started leaving a trail of kisses.

"And that's enough,"she laughed. But soon enough, her mouth was covered by his and she couldn't really remember why she had been laughing in the first place.


	18. A new galaxy

**_A new galaxy_**

Ben Solo was exhausted, he crashed onto the sofa making the brown liquid in his glass dance. He gulped the liquid, draining his glass, then rested his head against the back of the sofa.

"Tough night?" Rey asked, coming from the bathroom, dressed in a light blue night gown. Her hair was let down, falling around her shoulders and framing her face; she looked radiant and Ben forgot his troubles for a moment.

"Hmm," he nodded and patted the seat next to him with his hand.

Rey smiled at her husband. She sat on the sofa next to him, curling her feet underneath her body. "What happened?"she asked, running her hands though his hair.

Ben momentarily closed his eyes at the soothing motion. "These meetings are never ending," he complained.

"Well, you are trying to create a new order in the galaxy," she said, slightly teasing him.

He raised a dark eyebrow. "You know, I could use your help, that is, besides mocking," he teased back.

Rey chuckled lightly but shook her head. "Thank you, but I am fine with just training younglings in the waya of the Force. What I can help you with," she said, slightly shifting her position, "is releasing some of this stress."

"Oh, that feels good!" Ben exclaimed as she started massaging the tense muscles in his neck and shoulders.

"Good," Rey whispered next to his ear then left a soft kiss on his neck.

"Rey?" Ben said after a while.

"Hm?"she replied mindlessly.

"I love you," he whispered, his hand softly caressing her thigh.

"I love you too, Ben," she whispered back.

 **AN: Just a quick one: short and sweet :) hope you like it and make sure to check out my other Reylo fanfics: Episode9: Grey and When we were young xxx**


	19. Marks

**AN:Sooooo, I absolutely loved writing Scars(chapter 2) and thought I should make something similar and this little chapter came out :) so hope you enjoy this one as well xx**

 **You don't have to read that one to understand this but I think they go nice together ;)**

 **Again, thank you for all the faves and follows and reviews! Xxx**

 ** _Marks_**

Rey drew in a shake breath; slowly, she rolled up her white tunic, revealing her back to Ben.

"Rey." Her name had come out of his lips like a whimper. She blinked hard, trying to stop the tears from coming down her cheeks. "What have they done to you?"he asked, anger and pain battling in his voice.

Gently, so very gently, he touched her back with the tips of his fingers. Rey flinched slightly at his touch. "Would you like me to stop?"he asked concerned. She only shook her head, not able to form any words.

Just as slowly and gently as before, Ben started tracing a small scar, an old one where the skin was white and hard. But there were so many; so many scars, some of them still red, fresh, some small, some running down the length of her back, cutting across her ribs. Ben took his time in inspecting all of them, running the tips of his fingers on the hardened tissue, smoothing them out, trying to provide some comfort. And then, in a sudden, impulsive move, he touched his lips to one of the scars. Rey's breath caught in her throat and her heartbeat became erratic.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered against her skin, kissing another scar. "I feel it too."

Rey felt a smile form on her face as the tears finally spilled out of her eyes.

Later that night, after Ben had kissed every one of her scars, when he was holding her in his arms, she caressed the scar on his cheek.

"You once told," she whispered in the darkness of their room, "that I was always with you because I left you this scar."

Ben looked down at the beautiful woman in his arms and heard the questions she hadn't asked. "Rey," he said with compassion in his voice, "you were not with me because of the scar." He smiled and ran the back of his hand down her cheek, "You were in my heart. The people who have done this to you, they will fade away, just like the scars on your back." He brought her closer and kissed her forehead.

"I'm afraid these scars won't fade," she admitted against his chest.

"They will," he reassured her, "all scars fade with time."

 **AN: also, please make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Episode9: Grey And When we were young xxx**


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